Wow. This semester really feels...worthless.

I mean, I only took one art class so that I could get some of GenEds out of the way...but it feels as though I'm doing nothing of worth.

I have a Biology class- which really is worthless, I mean, I learned this stuff when I was a Sophomore, Art History II- which the people talking drive me nuts, a Creative Writing class- which I love to write, but I just don't fit in with the other students, a Speech class- which is entertaining, but I already give speeches fine, I'm a tour guide, dangit, and my Colour Theory class.

I like Colour Theory fine. I mean, I have people I can talk with in there, and the projects are good. But, I don't get the feedback that I need. I mean, Gigi is great, I respect her as an artist...but she's too laid-back, too nice.

And I know that sounds ridiculous that I'm complaining about a laid-back professor. But I had Brausell for two semesters, and he was brutally honest. If it looked bad, he'd tell you, to your face, "It looks like shit". So when you actually did something that he called 'beautiful', it was the highest compliment, because he is hard to please and he's blunt. He was a total kick in the butt. I worked hard and I pushed myself farther than I ever thought possible to hear that genuine praise.

Gigi...well, she could think that it's the ugliest thing in the world, and she'd still tell you that it looks nice. And it makes me feel lost. I could slap something together, and I'd still get a decent grade on it. So anything that I push myself on is for myself. And honestly, I don't push myself on things that are for me.

I'm trying to mentally set myself at a standard just so I do things that I'm proud of. I find myself setting the goal of 'beating' Jew-Man Creeper, because, turns out, he's actually a very skilled painter.

(sigh)